For the Julius family, this pastoral presence brought spiritual and practical support
By Amberly Boerschinger | For On Mission
NEENAH — Other than perhaps at parish celebrations, the church picnic or a committee meeting, the majority of Catholics might only see their priests for little more than an hour a week at weekend Masses.
It might be easy to presume that preparing for and preaching at the weekend Masses is the majority of a parish priest’s work during the week.
Patti Julius, and so many other families, can attest to the fact that this is just not the case. Priests have been a part of her family’s day-to-day existence for more than 40 years.
Julius, a member of St. Margaret Mary Parish in Neenah, and her late husband, Roy, relied continuously on the pastoral support of priests as they raised their youngest daughter, Amanda, who was diagnosed with cerebral palsy. “Recent research and experiences indicate that her disabilities could possibly stem from Roy’s exposure to Agent Orange during his service in the Vietnam War,” Julius said.
Julius said she and her husband were told by several doctors that they couldn’t do much for her, so, “Just take her home and love her.”
Which they did. Amanda functions at the developmental level of a 2- to 3-year-old child, Julius said. She lived with her mother, father and sister, Angela, before entering assisted living as an adult.
When Julius wanted to begin including Amanda more fully in Mass, the faith and the sacraments, she said her pastor at the time, Fr. Mike Ingold, handed her a book and said, “‘Go home and teach her.’”
But Fr. Ingold also began a pastoral connection with the family that went well beyond a book. Every weekend he would greet Amanda, who is blind in one eye, by taking her hands.
It was during this time that St. Margaret Mary Parish looked closely at wheelchair accessibility and raised the funds for elevator access.
Fr. Ingold and music director Justin Krueger welcomed Amanda to sit up front in the church near the choir where she learned to boisterously sing the “Alleluia.” At the weekly Mass in her assisted living facility, Parkview Health Center in Oshkosh, Amanda can still be heard singing the “Alleluia.”
Amanda isn’t the only one who benefited from the pastoral presence.
“Fr. Mike, along with Sheila Scanlan, who was the parish nurse at the time, were always so supportive of our journey with Amanda,” Julius said. “They were a part of Roy’s journey into the Catholic Church. I worked nights and our girls were home with Roy most weekends, so he was the one who took the girls to church. Their support provided us with the opportunities to be united together in faith and in family, which was so important. We were Amanda’s advocates and we needed our faith community to have our backs — and our souls.”
After Fr. Ingold, other priests and religious became a significant part of the Julius family’s faith journey.
Roy was diagnosed with cancer, likely a result of his exposure to Agent Orange, and was cared for at Manor Care and, eventually, Parkview with his daughter.
Fr. Edward Looney, Fr. Tom Long and Sr. Pam Biehl were all regular visitors to Roy and Amanda, bringing communion and prayer to the family.
“The priests and pastoral visits kept us in community and kept us connected all those years at the parish,” said Julius, who taught special education formation for many years. She is still active at the parish and at St. Gabriel Parish, as well as in the community, especially with the American Legion Poppy Program.
At a life-threatening time in Amanda’s journey, Fr. Bob Kollath was called to offer her the anointing of the sick.
“As her guardian, I had signed her ‘do not intubate and do not resuscitate’ orders. We knew we did not want her on a ventilator, but, in turn, we knew without a doubt that we wanted her to receive the anointing of the sick,” Julius said. “At that point, and at so many points along the way, her soul was our priority. I know anointing offers no pain relief, but it offered a grace and a peace, both to Amanda and to our family.”
“If it weren’t for the pastoral presence and commitment of our priests, we wouldn’t have that,” Julius said. “We used to live near to Fr. Bob Kollath and I know there were days when we would see him leave on one of his motorcycles and know that he was on his way to the hospital for an anointing. That is their vocation and their way of life.”
Fr. Mike Ingold, now pastor of St. Mary Catholic Church in Ledgeview, has been a priest for 33 years and said he has walked countless pastoral journeys with parishioners and families — including his own.
“When my niece passed, I couldn’t be there to anoint her, but I know what a comfort it was to my sister and her family to experience the sacrament,” he said. “It is a privilege to serve in that role as a priest. No priest gets to the end of his life and says, ‘You know, I wish I had taken just one more meeting.’”
Ellen Moore, coordinator of pastoral care for St. Mary Parish as well as St. Francis Xavier Parish in De Pere, said parish priests bring hope to families.
“Our dear priests bring the grace and peace of our Lord to our families. They bring a renewed joyful hope as they pray and bring the Blessed Sacrament on their visits when the parishioners are no longer able to attend Mass in-person,” she said. “This is truly a gift and a blessing to all they encounter.”