By Katie Murphy | For On Mission
As you ponder family life, what are the things you hope to remember? What are your hopes for your children?
Most of us have simple hopes for our families. We want our kids to be close to each other and to enjoy family time together. We pray our children grow up to love Jesus and the Church, that their faith may deepen as they grow and that Jesus is the center of their lives.
What choices are we making today that will foster these hopes to become reality?
St. John Paul II shared one way to grow as saints and as a family together.
In his apostolic letter Dies Domini, he urged us to “rediscover Sunday” because “Sunday is a day which is at the very heart of the Christian life.”
The beauty of worshiping and resting on Sunday is that we not only rediscover our faith, but we also rediscover our spouse and our children in a deeper way, too.
The Martens family, parishioners at St. Francis Xavier Cathedral, Green Bay, desired these same things and over the years have started to see it come to fruition in their family.
Chris and Carlene have been married 21 years and have 11 children. Their oldest, David, is a seminarian for the Diocese of Green Bay, and their other children have an active and vibrant faith life, including volunteering at St. Francis Xavier Cathedral as faith formation catechists, assisting with Totus Tuus and serving as altar servers.
Chris and Carlene said that it all starts with Sunday and that amidst their busy family life, they work hard to make Sunday special.
Chris highlights the importance of Sunday by saying, “If I am not taking Sunday off with my family, then what am I doing? Am I pursuing achievement and success at the expense of quality time with my family?”
He said that keeping the Sabbath Day (Sunday for Catholics) holy begins as an internal conviction between the parents and is shared with the children and those around them.
Keeping Sunday holy takes God off the back burner and puts him front and center of family life.
Prayer in the family is vital and takes many varied forms.
Chris and Carlene have been praying a devotion to St. Brigid of Sweden together for six years. Several of their children enjoy praying the Divine Office together.
Sunday Mass is the cornerstone of the day. They work to set aside the hustle and bustle of life so that Sunday feels different.
As parents, they “go through the process of being there with the children and teaching them, especially while the children are young,” Carlene said. “It forces us to be engaged at Mass.”
She said that the bells at Mass help to redirect their kids’ attention. When the bells ring, they know that something important is about to happen. After Mass, Chris and Carlene ask the kids what stood out to them, and the family talks about the Mass on the way home from church.
The Martens also prioritize family time on Sunday with a special dinner with dessert, reading aloud and hanging out with family and friends.
Making Sunday the highlight of the new week involves doing some things, but also avoiding others.
The Martens said they try to avoid working on Sundays. They recall a challenge from Fr. Simon on Relevant Radio a few years ago when he asked people to try to avoid shopping and spending money on Sundays.
The Martens said they find it helpful to have a community of friends who support them and who also live Sunday as a day of rest. They hang out after Mass with friends who agree that Sunday is special.
The Martens’ family life is busy with 11 children in multiple activities, sports and volunteer activities at church. How do they balance these activities with their desire to keep Mass the priority on Sunday?
To make Sunday a priority, Chris said that you have to learn to say no.
“You learn to say no for the sake of a greater good,” he said. “It is hard to say no to sports for the kids or home projects that need to get done, but by saying no to those things, you are saying yes to God and, in the long term, it will pay out in benefits — maybe not in the way we dream or see, but they do.”
Chris said he has learned “that, over time, the more I reserve Sunday for the family, the more it benefits the family.”
Chris and Carlene said they started making their faith a priority shortly after their oldest was baptized.
“Twenty years later, it is still a journey of deciding to choose God in terms of Mass, Sundays and what is important,” Chris said.
Not only has keeping Sunday holy benefited their faith lives, it has brought the family closer together. One daughter remarked that she loves spending time together as a family each Sunday. She said whenever someone is not there, their presence is missed.
The Martens said they ask themselves, “Is Sunday important enough to get our family to heaven?”
Chris said, “God is calling us as parents and spouses to get to heaven and I truly believe it starts with Sundays.”
Katie Murphy, MA, is a homeschooling mom of six children. She has worked as a counselor, coordinator of discipleship and faith formation coordinator in the Diocese of Green Bay.